By Sydney Loyola
Sydney Loyola, accomplished trangender choreographer. Photo by Wilfred Galila/Kularts
Let me begin by saying how happy I am to be a woman, to be alive, and to experience all that life has to offer. The last year has been a struggle for all of us, but the pandemic has made me appreciate the value of life even more. Life is something we must protect and celebrate. Now, more than ever, we must relish every moment, every second, every day.
Self-expression is how we interact with the world that we are born into. I found mine in dance and for my entire life, it has been both my pillar and my shelter, providing me a place where I could be my truest self without having to worry about labels, judgement, and boundaries.
Through dance, I embrace my vulnerability. When I’m in this sacred place, my perception of who I am is simply in terms of my humanness. No labels of achievement, pain, gender, or milestone. My truth is rooted in dance. Through the process of choreography and movement, I became the storyteller of life through the lens of my experience. What keeps bringing me back is the wholeness that dance makes me feel - the feeling of shifted weight and the control and surrender of muscles; the vibe of connected energy with other performers and the audience; the awareness of my relationship to the earth, to breath, and to the powerful divine. Through movement, I am one with the earth. The universe is alight in me.
Dance has allowed me a world of opportunities and that has given me the gift of friendship with colleagues who share the same passion. I am the co-founder of The Haraya Dance Project, a dance organization whose mission is to encourage initiative and participation among the Filipino-American trans, non-binary, and genderqueer community.
Sydney Loyola, co-founder of The Haraya Dance Project. Photo by Wilfred Galila/Kularts
My journey as a transgender woman was not easy. But like all worthy endeavors, I had to take the leap and follow my truth. For a long time, I felt lost, seeking refuge and escape in things that never quite filled the void. Now, I celebrate the freedom and the peace that embracing my true self has brought me. Find your truth. Share your truth to inspire others.
This quote from George Bernard Shaw has been my life’s mantra, and I share this with you now, “People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they can't find them -- Make them!”
In 1909, the first National Women’s Day was celebrated in the U.S. More than a century later, women are now claiming positions and opportunities that were once only given to men. Indeed, we have moved forward, but there is much work to be done in terms of inclusion, education, and acceptance. And as we continue to celebrate and support all women and their journeys, we are reminded to take the time to ask ourselves - who are we and what is our purpose? And throughout our journeys, how much love and compassion can we give ourselves and others?
One of the questions I am often asked is did I have to let go of the old me to make room for Sydney? The answer has always been - we have both shared this human body for all our lives. I honor the wisdom and accomplishments of my past, while honoring the bravery and self-love of my present.
Today and always, I encourage all women to love themselves and live the life that they’re meant to live. We are blessed with only one life, one shot to the finish line. How will you spend your time - in fear and misalignment or in honesty and freedom? Whatever that means to you, please take care of your life, nurture it, and embrace your truth. It took me over four decades to walk my journey and I can say that I am free at last, free at last.
My experience has taught me many things, the most important being, the value of life and the gift of self-acceptance. For many, the road to self-acceptance can be a life-long journey, but the decision to make the first step is the most important thing. The bravest choice we can ever make is to become. It requires courage to unbind your wings and align purpose with body, mind with heart, human with divine.
In the Filipino culture, there is a ritual of the indigenous Tagbanua tribe - the oldest inhabitants of the Philippines in the province of Palawan, where I was raised. In this ritual on a hammock, a male babaylan or shaman assumes the persona of a woman to achieve a balanced spirit - only when this balance is attained is the babaylan able to communicate with the deities. This dance that I choreographed and performed often in my lifetime became a metaphor for my own self-love. Two genders in one body in perfect pas de deux. The perfect balance of masculine and feminine power. The perfect harmony of human and divine. When people ask me who I am, I say - I am Sydney. And this is my story.
Let’s remember to be thankful, to be kind, and most, especially to LIVE.